Date with a Ghost - PART III

My friends were as cheery as ever. Sometimes all you need is a day out with your girlfriends. And the fact that it will be followed by a date with the guy you are attracted to, doesn’t hurt.

I had gathered a group of my favorite ladies - Pia, Andy, and Olivia - because I wanted them to meet, and also to try the tea house that Andy had previously introduced me to.

We had tea, brunch, and desserts.

We talked about everything possible.

”So, are you excited for this date? You look gorgeous. What are you guys doing?” Andy asked.

”Bowling and just hanging out for drinks or something.” I replied.

”Are you drinking again?” Olivia asked.

”Not yet. He probably thinks I’m a bit weird because I’m not explaining why I’m not drinking to anyone.” I said.

”It’s alright, you don’t have to drink,” said Pia, “you’ll have a great time.”

We laughed and finished brunch. I took a moment to brush my teeth and reapply my lipstick. 

“You can do this,” I whispered to the face in the mirror. The amount of sadness that I feel is immeasurable. For a moment, I can feel the weight of the last four months just making me sink from the inside. “You can do this,” I say again, firmly, “you’re going to have fun.” I take my stress gummies and join my friends outside.

We went shopping in Koreatown, checked out a beauty store, a bookstore, and a few other places we found.

It was a good day.

We said goodbye to Andy and Olivia. Pia walked with me the rest of the way.

”Are you good?” She asked.

“I’m nervous.”

”But you like this guy, right?”

”Yeah, but I won’t be able to keep him.”

”Why do you say that? The ex thing? Babe, you don’t know what will happen. If he still wants to see you, and if he’s not being a jerk, then you have a chance. Trust me he’d be so lucky.”

”I just can’t get invested.”

”You’re still going, so I’m proud of you. Putting yourself out there while you’re going through so much. I wish you could see yourself how I see you. It’s just the depression, it lies.”

”I will be ok. I really am excited to see him. I like him. I’m just scared.”

”Did you tell him you like him?”

”Sort of.”

“What does that mean?” She knows me too well.

“I told him I liked him over text the other day because he was really nice and I knew I did like him.”

”Tell him in person and don’t hold back.”

”Yeah, I’ll try.”

Pia gave me a huge hug. She often knows me better than I know myself. She’s one of my closest friends, I’ve known her half my life.

…

I walked into the bowling alley. An elevator took me to the registration area.

I saw him standing behind a small crowd of people who were waiting to receive a lane. He saw me. He took a tiny step back. His eyes seemed miles away. If I didn’t know any better I would say he seemed scared. Terrified.

Why would he be terrified?

But I went up and we shared a kiss on the cheek.

”How are you?” I asked.

”Good, I got us on the waitlist.”

“Great, thanks. Glad I didn’t make you wait long this time.”

”Actually, I’ve been here a while. I was trying to win you a stuffed animal at the claw machine.”

I smiled. That is the cutest thing. I would love that stuffed animal to death! “Those machines are so tricky.”

”I have to keep trying.”

”Haha, you don’t, it’s okay. Do you want to play at the arcade?”

”Yeah, sure.”

We started at the basketball hoops section. He found a stool and placed my stuff on top, organized. We competed a bit, and he won. 

“That was fun,” I said.

We walked over to the claw machine and he tried again. No luck. I could tell he really wanted to get me that stuffed animal. I would have wanted it too, he knew exactly which one he wanted to give me. But those machines are rigged.

“Air hockey next?” He asked.

“Sure.”

”Can we make it interesting?” He asked with a mischievous grin.

“What do you have in mind?”

”If I win, then I finally get to kiss you. If you win, then whatever you want.” 

I already knew that I wanted to lose. But I also am usually really good at air hockey. What would I want if I won? I thought. I’d probably still just want him to kiss me. He was obviously thinking about it as much as I was, maybe more. It would be fun to make him wait, tease him a little. Would be fun for me too.  “Sounds like a bet.”

We started playing and I could see his smile. Stupid beautiful smile. Just as intoxicating as the first time I saw it. It’s the type of smile that says a million things without words - and each of those things is a million reasons that make you happy.

He was already winning 3-1. I swear I am not bad at this game. 4-1. Okay, I have to try harder. Yes! 4-2. Slowly he kept winning, 5-2. He knew what his price would be, 6-2. I had to try, 7-2. I could not wait for him to win, 7-3. I wanted to lose. 8-3. And that was the final score. He won.

He made his way around the air hockey table and stood in front of me. He placed one hand on my waist and the other on my cheek. He leaned in - a soft kiss. Lips soft but firm. An intro kiss. 

He pulled away slightly, our faces still close.

”So, Mario Kart?” He said.

”Yeah,” I smiled.

We made our way to Mario Kart. Okay, this I knew I was good at.

“Are you any good?”

”I mean, I’m alright.” 

We chose our characters, we chose our cars, and the race began. A few seconds later, I was first. “What!” He said.

”Don’t be sad that you lost, it just means I’m better than you.” I laughed.

I saw this glint in his eye. I knew he loved that I had beat him. I’m glad he was the kind of guy that didn’t take this badly, and just enjoyed the competition. Also, I loved that he had the idea of betting. I loved playing games. The foreplay. The anticipation.

He ran to the restroom and upon his return he asked if we should play again.

”Are you ready to lose again?”

There it was, the small glint of pleasure in his eyes again.

I beat him one more time. “So sad, you lost again,” I laughed. He didn’t say anything but he smiled. “Let’s go see if our lane is ready!” I said.

It was. Luckily we got a corner lane. Dark. Isolated. Only another couple was in the lane next to us.

”A beer for me,” he told the waiter.

”I’ll have a strawberry lemonade,” I said.

We set up names for each other, he named me kitten on the screen, I do hate cats though. But it was a cute pet name. I couldn’t think of a good one for him, so Rick it was.

We started playing. We were both just okay, him better of course. The waiter brought our drinks over, “can I get you anything else?” Rick shook his head, “no, thanks man.”

After each of our turns, we would sit next to each other and exchange a few words. Getting to know each other more.

I was not going to do well in this game. But that wasn’t the purpose. I sat down and felt his hand touch my back. He placed a small gentle kiss on my neck. I turned slightly to see his face, we both slightly smiled.

After a couple more frames, he asked, “can I kiss you again?”

I wanted nothing more, but needed to make it interesting, “if you get a strike you can.” Neither of us had gotten a strike yet.

He grinned. Understood. Not a word. Grabbed the bowling ball and made his way to the line. I watched impatiently, this time standing so that I could watch every move. He prepared himself. Good posture. And he let the ball go. 

Before the ball had reached the pins, he turned around, his face confident and determined. We heard the crash. “Strike” read the screen above. He was a man on a mission. I was frozen. He walked straight to me, wrapped his arms around me, dipped me slightly, and kissed me. Firm this time. Taking control. This kiss was longer, possessive, and passionate. It was perfection. It was a scene out of a movie. I didn’t want it to end.

When he pulled away he only said one thing, “you didn’t think I would get that strike, huh.” I shook my head no. “I really wanted that strike,” he said.

After that, all I wanted was to feel his lips on mine again.

We kept playing, making things more and more interesting with little bets. He kept winning. I’m usually good at flirting when I know the guy likes me, but my head was so distracted, I could not come up with any good bets. The waiter kept coming by, “we’re all good,” Rick would say, obviously giving him the signal that meant you don’t need to keep interrupting. But the guy just wasn’t getting it.

We shared secrets, made small in-the-moment bets, made cute sexy bets for the future. Simply put, we had fun. 

When we finished, he helped me to get my stuff ready. We took the elevator - needed to cash in on a small bet. Haha.

“Let’s get something to eat,” he said.

”Do you know any good places around here?” I asked. 

He mentioned a few places. “Do you have any suggestions for what you like?”

”I’m good with something light because I ate earlier. Do you want empanadas?”

”Sure, lead the way.”

As we walked, he held my hand. He stood on the outside on the sidewalk. If we crossed, he would switch sides to make sure I was always protected. He stopped to help an unhoused person and say hello. Then he came right back to me, his hand in mine. 

I felt safe with him. I felt he appreciated me. I felt he was glad to be spending this time with me. I had no question that this man was into me, at least at this moment.

Within a few minutes of arriving at the restaurant, we were seated. The waiter was cool, quite attractive, and very nice. Empanadas were delicious, as always. I went to the restroom, brushed my teeth and freshened up my lipstick. When I came back out, he held up my coat to put it on for me.

He was an absolute gentleman. This was the kind of man I wanted in my life. I don’t think I ever thought about it before. My ex was extremely far from being a gentleman, he did things to consider me when we were together, but he would still be a thousand miles from Rick. I’m not saying Rick is better than my ex. But Rick is what I want that I never thought I wanted.

I want to keep him.

We left the restaurant in search of a bar. We found one directly across the street. We didn’t know it yet, but it was the perfect place. We found a small booth, with a small space on the brick wall. The table was small enough that our knees touched. It was also small enough that he could just lean forward and kiss me. 

I finally had a sip of his beer. I really wished I had a drink in me at this point. Just to help me be more sociable. But I couldn’t risk it just hitting me the wrong way and making me tear up.

We played truth or dare and learned so much about each other. We talked writing, we talked movies, we talked directors, we talked comic books, we talked relationships, we talked desires. We didn’t talk sometimes. He reached under the table and gently caressed my thigh. “Come here,” he said, I did as he asked and he kissed me slightly. Every time he’d kiss me I’d laugh and at one point he laughed first anticipating my laugh.

”May I touch your hair?” I asked.

”Sure,” he said and leaned over. I touched the hair above his ears, a bit of salt and pepper showing through the light brunette. I played with his beard. I played with his collar.

”I love salt and pepper hair on a man.”

“Well, that’s lucky for me then.” 

He held my hand as we talked. Caressing the top of my hand, just like at the coffee shop, placing light kisses on it.

We alternated between playing games, kissing, laughing, and just plain staring at each other. We told each other jokes, he made some amazing actor impressions. He confessed how much he had loved it when I teased him over Mario Kart.

The quiet moments of looking into each other’s eyes are what I miss the most. I could stare into his eyes for eternity. I could sit in that silence, as long as he was next to me. He pulled my face in for a kiss, a long gentle one, he pulled away slightly with our foreheads still touching, eyes closed. He was just in the moment with me. That made me feel so incredibly content and peaceful - this is exactly what I want to have with someone. My mind was feeling a bit sad. I thought I would tear up from the thought that this was the happiest moment I had experienced in six months. With essentially still a stranger - I didn’t know anything about him really, or him about me.

“This is the best date I’ve had,” I whispered.

”Then you haven't had a lot of dates,” he answered with a small smile.

“That’s true, but it’s still the best.” I couldn’t tell him what I had gone through the last six months, what I was still going through, it was really the better part of a year to be honest. I couldn’t tell him that I was thankful I met him and that in this moment all I could wish for was to have more moments like this with him.

“How about for our next date we have our proper dinner, nice restaurant,” he said, “and then maybe our next outing would you be interested in coming by me? I can show you some places I like.” And we could cash in on some of those bets, I thought, and I know he was thinking it too.

“I can’t wait,” I smiled.

It was time to go, I needed to catch my last bus. He needed to leave early the next morning to spend the day with his sister.

”I’ll get you an Uber,” he said.

”I prefer the bus, I don’t have the best experiences in cabs.”

”Are you sure?”

”Definitely, the bus is relaxing and drops me across the street from my place.”

”Then I will walk you there.”

The walk. Another opportunity for him to hold my hand. This time I held onto this arm. I loved walking with him.

“Sometimes I don’t hear from you.”

“Sorry, the app isn’t good at notifications, and I don’t always check it. Sometimes I see it and then forget to go back in.”

“You could just take my number, you know.”

“I didn’t ask because I didn’t know if you were ready.”

“Yeah, I am.”

While we waited for the red light, he gave me his number.

He threw his arm around me and pulled me close. We stopped for a small kiss. He told me about his family. He sang me songs and recited some Shakespeare. I love writers. We create the worlds we dream of.

“Do you like karaoke?” I asked.

“Yeah, it’s fun. We should do that together.”

“I’m going with my friend in a few weeks, you should join us. Bring your best friend if you want. Just a group hanging out.”

”Cool.”

We made it to the bus stop, about 20 minutes to wait for my bus to arrive. It was time for more games.

”Truth or dare,” I asked.

”Truth.”

”What was your favorite moment tonight?”

”That’s an easy one. When we were bowling, every time you went up, I got to watch you. You’re gorgeous.” This time I motioned him to kiss me. You can’t say that and not kiss me.

“Truth or dare,” he asked.

”Dare,” I replied.

”Kiss me, as you wish.”

I pulled him in close and kissed him until he couldn’t help but take back control and kiss me harder.

”Truth or dare,” I asked.

”Truth.”

”What do you wish you were doing right now?”

“I just wish I had some more time with you.” He caressed my face. He held the side of my head to pull me back in. Kisses upon kisses. We could feel time running out and all we wanted was to be with each other.

I could see his eyes. Behind them there was what seemed to be a bit of sadness. Maybe he really did like me, at least at that moment. My ex used to tell me he only loved me sometimes. I never understood that, if you love someone then you just love them. I came to realize that some people, mostly men I think, are all about the feelings during a specific moment - if we kiss then I love you, if we fight then I don’t love you. 

Rick liked me at this moment, this evening, I think he could see what the possibility of a romantic connection with me could look like. But I think he also knew that he would never be mine because his ex was what he wanted. I was just a fun night until he made it official with her.

The sadness was overwhelming again.

My bus was close.

”If we see each other again, we’ll have to chat more about what we like, and play more games,” I said.

”What do you mean ‘if’?” He asked, “I already planned two more dates.”

”Yeah.” I tried to smile, reassuringly.

When my bus arrived he gave me a final kiss and let go of my hand, “let me know when you get home.” He walked a few steps away and then he turned around to look at me.

His eyes far away in thought. They told a whole story again. I know he knew it too. That would be the last time we saw each other. I knew the tears were no longer something I could hold back - some happy, most sad.

That would be the last time I would feel his kiss again.

Rick would never be mine to keep.

…